The image that sticks with me, when I think about the 9-month journey through the Newbigin Fellowship, is the labyrinth. In January, most of our class of fellows participated in a 24-hour period of silent reflection at a local retreat center. We were given several activities and tools to use during this silent time, one of which was the suggestion to "walk the labyrinth" on the grounds of the retreat center.
I'd seen labyrinths before, but had always assumed that they were these new-agey, schmaltzy, life's-a-maze kind of things, so I have to admit that I approached the exercise with some skepticism. I was surprised to learn that the idea of the labyrinth actually came out of the desire of early Christians to visit the Holy Land. Since a journey from medieval Europe to Jerusalem was impossible for most people, the labyrinth became a way for people to physically move through the things that were distancing them from God, re-center themselves in Him, and then journey back out into the world, transformed.
For me, the 9-month Newbigin Fellowship mirrored the journey of the labyrinth. The first half of the year seemed to mimic the "inner journey" of the labyrinth. Understanding that our group was starting from different places theologically and culturally, we came together and explored the influences that drive our choices, the big picture or "story" of God's relationship with humans, and our own Exodus journeys. After months of discussing culture and theology, we seemed to reach the "center." We looked deeper into ourselves and were able to share our own stories with each other, feeling safe enough to differentiate the version of myself that I project to the world, versus the self I keep hidden and protected. In the second half of the year, we started the "outward journey," and wrestled with major practical questions, asking how our faith and Christian worldview might inform how we think about relationships, sexuality, vocation, and service.
Unlike the typical labyrinth journey, I was never alone in the Newbigin Fellowship. I spent the year in community with my cohort of 9 young professionals who shared their lives, their stories, and their own difficult questions relating to faith, work, and life. We were given incredible opportunities to hear from and dialogue with several seminary professors and deep thinkers who have also wrestled with big questions like, "How do we interpret that section of the Bible?" "Where did we come from?" or "How does our popular culture and media impact our choices and our faith?" This could've just become a didactic tour through heady theological concepts, but the structure and composition of the Fellowship helped to keep us grounded in reality. We weren't addressing these questions in a Christian bubble; we were asking each other, "What does this mean for me, working an ordinary job, in San Francisco?"
Although it's true that I leave the Fellowship with more questions than I had at the outset, I think that the program has added several layers of depth beneath me. I'm not scared to ask questions, and I know that the leadership of my church and other important Christian thinkers encourage me to ask questions. I leave with a connection to a growing group of alumni who are also activated, curious, real people. I leave with a better understanding of myself and the community I live in. I leave with a desire to continue questioning and seeking God's presence, and I will continue to look for ways to keep coming back to the center of the labyrinth.
- Anne Kinderman
Newbigin Fellowship Alumni 2012-13
Now accepting 2013-2014 applications: Deadline July 31st
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Musings on the Newbigin Fellowship