I said that in a sermon about a year ago. I had a number of people respond either after the service or by email later. All of them were saying "thank you". Even in such a therapeutic culture like San Francisco, they felt like damaged goods to their friends and family around them because they had the courage and good sense to get help and support when they needed it. Because let's face it... our past isn't all roses, and the past does impact the present. More than we may know. And you know what? We have the responsibility to "reclaim the parts of our soul that remain untilled and unproductive for bearing fruit. And the denial of the past hinders this work of reclamation."
That's from Dan Allender in his book "Wounded Heart". Do you have parts of your soul that need reclaiming? I do. What about "forgiving and forgetting?" or "You can't change the past, so don't wallow in it". Usually Philippians 3 is also quoted: "forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead". Hey I'm all about making progress in our journey, but sometimes we "get stuck in a moment we can't get out of" to quote U2. And part of our calling to go forward means we have to go backwards, not to change the past, but to change it's impact on us.
Allender goes on to say: "To be told "The past is the past and we are new creatures in Christ, so don't worry about what you can't change," at first relieves the need to face the unsightly reality of the destructive past. After a time, however, the unclaimed pain of the past presses for resolution, and the only solution is to continue to deny. The result is either a deep sense of deep personal contempt for one's inability to forgive and forget, or a deepened sense of betrayal toward those who desired to silence the pain of the abuse in a way that feels similar to the perpetrator's desire to mute the victim. Hiding the past always involves denial; denial of the past is always a denial of God. To forget your personal history is tantamount to trying to forget yourself and the journey that God has called you to live."
Maybe your past isn't calling you to get the help and support of therapy. I just want you to know it's ok if it is. City Church will always be a place where a theology of brokenness and sin informs us that Jesus was onto something when he said, "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted." It's hard to grieve, but it's the unusual path to comfort, because it's the path to authenticity and wholeness. And sometimes we need help to do that, because in the words of U2 again (sorry!) "Sometimes you can't make it on your own."
